Someone Has to Say It...

...You don't have to be an ass on a plane.
We've all been there: you find your seat, sit down and get comfy. Ten minutes later, douche of the year throws an oversized bag into the overhead bin, punts a baby out of his way, and sits down to explain to you in full detail for the next five hours about why he's the greatest gift to humanity.

For starters, don't be an ass with the overhead bin. You don't have to rearrange every carry on so your hockey gear can "fit". That being said, you don't have to take up even more space by putting your down jacket up there. Here's an idea: hold it or put it under your seat since, contrary to your belief, there are other people on the plane!

Next: children. People with children, contain them or don't bring them. If I thought about running around a plane my mother would have flying side-kicked me in the temple. And no, it's not abuse, it's decent parenting... and oh! Now I'm able to sit calmly and not run, scream and torment the entire plane. Welcome to how parenting works...

For those who don't have children, you can't fix bad parenting or satan spawn.  What you can do is perfect the skill of ignoring stupidity. Screaming kid? Find your headphones.  Kid kicking your seat? Recline, look at him exorcist-style, and say "keep kicking my seat and I'm going to give you candy with razor blades in it"...insert maniacal laugh here....problem solved.

And on to the talking issue. If I wanted to talk to someone on a plane, I would bring them with me. That being said, me smiling at you (because I'm not an asshole traveler) is not an invitation to say anything about any physical feature of mine (or yours for that matter).

According to the ring on your finger, you should'nt be flirting anyway... and since you are, your creep level is inceasing exponentially. Besides, my headphones are turned up so loud the pilot can probably hear my music, so odds are I'm nodding and smiling just so you'll shut the hell up.

No need to be an ass, just let people relax!

- Scrizzle