How To: Live With Your Significant Other (Without Killing Them)

Living with your significant other is a huge step... and we've all heard the horror stories of:  She loves him, he loves her, they move in together, they plot each other's murder, nasty breakup... just bad news.

I think it's safe to say (almost) everyone has been in a crappy relationship before... I could write a few books about mine... but there are good ones out there!

Provided you're one of the few who snag a good one, living together will become an option. Some people get cold feet here because yea it's scary being stuck in the same place with someone for a year. It doesn't have to be scary though... it can be good... seriously.

I lucked out BIG time here. I know that thanks to a few past relationships we'll call "wicked horrible" for lack of a stronger adjective to describe my deep hatred.. anyway, I'm lucky.  Can't stress that enough. I live with a guy who's a clean freak, has a job, pays bills, takes the dog out, pays taxes, does laundry, cooks, does dishes... that's right ladies, THAT guy... is mine.

I'm sure you know that most aren't like that... oh contraire! But just when you think you're in the clear, we as women aren't all that amazing to live with either!  We nag, PMS, complain, take hours getting ready, want our feet rubbed... the list goes on. The guys aren't perfect, and neither are we. Until we can have a his & hers couch complete with burgers and fries and beer on his side and chocolate and wine on our side, we have to learn to get along... together...without spending life in prison for pre-meditated murder...

Here are some of the secrets that I've learned along the way.
1. Plan a date night - your schedules are crazy with work, school, family, whatever. We're all far too busy and even when you live together you might feel like you don't get to spend real time together.  Plan a day every week, clean up, dress up, have fun somewhere you both enjoy, and remember why you're in it to begin with.  This is something we do, and we even try to switch it up by going somewhere we've never been every few weeks. Looking for a place to get started? Go to Groupon and find deals in your city.

 

2. Communication - this is hard for 98% of people, but it's the biggest, BIGGEST thing.  You have to talk about key issues: bills, rent, shopping and chores. Love doesn't pay rent (neither does sex, gentlemen), dishes and laundry don't do themselves, and someone has to buy the food you eat. You'll have to talk (not scream!) about things that bother you... because if you can't stand his shoes being on the coffee table, and you don't tell him, it'll drive you crazy (trust me) and you'll freak out and nag and hate and want to punch him. Remember: punching isn't good...

3. Respect - another huge concept to relationships. Communication is hard to do, so if your SO tells you that something you do bothers them, respect them enough to make a conscious effort to stop doing that. You probably won't be perfect about it, but try! For those on the other side of that, recognize the effort!  Saying "thank you" doesn't go away just because you live together. It's short, simple and goes a long way.  You'll both have habits that makes the other one mental, but people are annoying. Some annoyances are worth living with, some are not.  

4. PMS - yes, it's real. No, it is not an excuse. Tell him you're PMSing... apologize for being mildly irrational thanks to hormones that fluctuate worse than the stock market. Don't see it as an excuse to use for being psychotic or bitchy. To the guys, I recommend chocolate, wine and hot baths... not to be romantic, but because you want to keep your balls in tact.

5. Sharing - heard the expression "what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine"?  It's true, but it applies to far more than material things. You'll have to share responsibilities, too. It's not cute to think that your girlfriend is responsible for cleaning, cooking and all other housework. It's not 1776 anymore, so get off your asses. Share the chores... if she cooks, then you clean up afterwards.  If he does laundry, you fold it and both of you help to put it away.

* Definitely vent away in the comments - tell stories - tell horror stories - tell us about things that you've learned that are helpful! *